September 1st 2012 "Writing Out Loud Part I"

This 2 weeks away from home, it made me realized something. My objective here in Brunei was to push myself to my limit and train on my mental endurance. But then I keep getting distracted from thinking about her. Cause I sure miss her, I can't wait to go home and spend time with her. She's the only thing I think about back home ironically. When I feel like giving up I just think about her, imagining she was next to me and I can't fail in front of her. Sometimes I really wonder if she knows how much she means to me. I keep thinking to myself does she think about me? Does she care ? Does she miss me? Is she waiting for me to come back? So many questions in my head, or maybe I'm just thinking too much again. One thing I'm very afraid of is that things will change when I come back, afraid the feelings are gone again. Cause this is weird, for the first time when I'm away from home when my girlfriend doesn't seem too affected it. Compare from my past relationships and other couples around me, their girlfriends will always  try to call, message, or contact each other any ways they can find, how they would be telling each other how much she miss em, how much she wanting for them to come home and such. She's just not that type of person or maybe she's just really doesn't care. Who knows. I can't make her be someone she's not. I rather she be herself and I wanna fall in love with that person she is. It feels good knowing someone always have you in their mind, missing, caring about you but I just have to live with it. I keep telling her how much I miss her and everything but it seems like she doesn't really care too much about it, something is wrong I can feel it. Maybe she doesn't need me in her life. I don't know, probably I'm thinking too much again. The truth is I miss her, and I'm fucking scared that when I'm back things will change between us, cause that's how it always is. I just want a girlfriend that loves me as much as I love her, care for her as much as she cares for me. I wish she's that person for me. In a way I'm starting to think twice about things, but in another way I don't wanna think twice because I know what I want is her, what I want is us. I'm deeply in love, fuck.  I wish she understands that I'm the one for her, I won't do her wrong, I will take care of her, do everything and anything I can for her, for us. I promise her that. I will do my best for her. I will do anything seriously. I don't think she can find any other guy that's as genuine as me, I'm as real as it can get. Its weird how if it was any other girls, I'm the guy that every girl wishes for, what they look for in a guy but she's different.

August 22nd 2012 "Bring In On, Brunei.."

"Ahead Always Ready To Strike"

This weekend was the weekend, the weekend to really enjoy myself and chill the fuck out before my 2 weeks of hell coming up in Brunei. I'm actually nervous this time, very seldom I'm nervous about army things, but maybe the fact that a fellow soldier just passed away in the same area where we are going to train for the following 2 weeks. It almost feels like a soldier going for war in Iraq, of course im exaggerating, but hopefully I will come back in one piece. Even though this is just 2 weeks of overseas training but this training is very different I feel. Everything is very high risk and the training program is no walk in the park, but it's manageable. Hopefully this 2 weeks will fly by fast, and come back in one piece to my wifey :)

On Friday night, babe went club hopping with her friends when I was at her house waiting for her to come home, I chatted with her mommy until about 1am then she went to sleep since she has work the following day. I stayed up surfing the net and editing my blog until she got home around 3+am.. I was listening to music with the earphones on, didn't hear she coming home, then suddenly she touched my head as I was focused on my laptop, scared the shit out of me especially now its the 7th month, tsk tsk.. After she settled down and changed to a comfy set of clothes she lay down next to me and we cuddle under the sheets until she fell asleep. Then I kissed her on the forehead, cover her with her double layer blanket, kissed her on her lips and whispered to her I love her, then proceed back to the floor and sleep :)

Saturday, her mom woke me up to grab breakfast with her and her sister while she's still being a lazy pig sleeping. After breakfast, we went home and she was watching drama on her phone -.- I jumped onto her bed and lay next to her, I brought her breakfast since she was too lazy to go downstairs and eat. We spend time together until about 7pm+ when she had to meet up with her friend Pamela to go to Zouk. On my way home, my friends asked me to go out with them to Zouk also, so I went home got ready and met them up. Saturday night was a damn fun night, haven't got so high since the night when I met the love of my life :) At first it was just me, Daryl, Riduan, Wei Yi and his friend (which end up to be someone I know) to go Zouk together only. Upon reaching we bought 2 bottles, Chivas and Jager for 5 people, then we met up with Janvin and his 2 friends, drank some more outside the club. When we went in, straight away drank flaming lambo's for 4 people.. Then we saw Yi Liang my platoon mates, then drank more with them, then saw my ex-boss Connie! She just came back from China, and pour me and my friends more and more drinks -.- OMG. What a night! But, I still manage to control myself knew what was going on and still trying to find my baby making sure she was okay. Still know that she's my main priority making sure that she gets home safely. At the end of the night, she was actually waiting for me outside, my sweet wifey! We went home that night and I knocked out after we settled down and made sure she fell asleep soundly first.

Early afternoon on Sunday, I woke up slightly late then expected but then rushed over back to my grandfather's house to spend time with family and Skype my mother hence I haven't been back lately and I'll be gone for 2 weeks. Talking to mommy really made me happy, she always put a smile on my face, I love her so much. She's always the playing around, joking around type mother. Then she told me to be careful there and that she will be coming back around end of October. After spending time with the family, I met babe up at Bukit Batok as we take the shuttle bus to Ikea! We grabbed a very heavy lunch there then walked around Ikea and the area until late evening when we head down to Sentosa Boardwalk to our favorite chill the fuck out spot, Queens. Drank a beer and shared a cheese-cake together, listening to live music and seriously chilling the fuck out, I likeeee! :) Before it was getting too late, we made our way back, I came home to grab some clothes and showered, then we stop by Fair Price to buy some groceries to cook since we haven't really ate dinner. Let's just say the dinner failed tremendously, I didn't know what happened to me, it was either I haven't cook in a very long time or I think too much of myself. The dinner was a disaster ended up made us have an argument and made both of us angry at each other, but after cooling down, we talked it out and made each other feel better, and I promise her that I will make it up to her, I will make her a dinner she deserve next time.

On Monday, it was more of a Sunday to me. We woke up quite late since we slept quite late the night before. Slightly caught up on our Running Man series then went for gymming and jogging. After a very good work out, we rushed down for dinner at Pepper Lunch, then followed by a movie, The Expendables 2! That was a bad-ass movie, and Chuck Norris was EPIC! After the movie we ate Zhi- Char for dinner, Eee Mee, Hokkien Mee and her favorite Hot-Plate tofu. Then I sent her home and went home and rot in bed since she has work the following day, I waited for her to finish work and sing K with pamela on Tuesday, then met for for dinner at McDonalds with her mommy. Spend some quality time together before I catch the last train home.

Today is the day we all wish that'll never come. Tonight is my flight to Brunei. Meanwhile I'm just waiting for her to get off work so we can spend some time together before I off. I can tell she's worried for me, keep telling me to be safe and better come back safely. I will, I will try my best to be safe and come back to her even though my mentality is go all out this time for pride of the Recon platoon. Turning on the soldier mode and turning off the civilian me for 2 weeks. I think I will have fun, come back with a experience I will never forget, pushing myself to the absolute limit and come back to a stronger me, physically and mentally. That's my own target for this 2 weeks. So anyways.. See you guys in 2 weeks! Hopefully I will come back with damn interesting stories and photos! Wish me luck and pray for my safety meanwhile! :) BRING IN ON BRUNEI!

 

 

New York Chees Cake @ Queens

Lunch @ IKEA

** Note to 我的老婆 during this 2 weeks. Don't worry honey, this 2 weeks I'm away from you, I'll take care of myself, just know that I'll be safe, and in a blink of an eye I will be back laying down next to you, kissing your forehead, holding you tightly and having Mr. Rabbit farting in my face. Don't go out too late on weekends, don't make mommy worry especially now is 7th month okay. I will be missing you a hell lot, thinking about you every second, you're my motivation for everything remember that. I'm gonna come back a better and stronger person :) I will try to write about my day every day and how much I miss you for the whole 2 weeks and share with you all the crazy stories when I'm back. And in these 2 weeks time, I will think it through of how much you mean to me, what are my bad points I need to change and plan what to cook for you when I'm back and also plan how to surprise you with $20 on your birthday! :) I love you babe. Better be safe also for 2 weeks, don't let too many guys talk to you and jio you out because you know I will be jealous 的. Hehe. And I told Mr.Wabbit, Mr. Rabbit, Mr. Zabbit and Mr. Babbit to take care of you when I'm gone for these 2 weeks, when you get lonely you can hug them when you miss me you can talk to them, they will take care of you :) 我愛死你了老婆 <3 see you on September 5th my FIANCEE!! MUACKZ!

August 13th 2012 "One Year Down, One Lifetime To Go.."

Dinner @Zero.Zero

This weekend was not just another weekend, this weekend was supposed to be our 1 year anniversary weekend. Thursday, August 9th was Singapore National Day and so was what was supposed to be me and babe's 1 year anniversary together. She was going to surprise me by getting a new ink but she told me she booked an appointment the night before, so during my break time while I was doing my NDP duties I rushed down from F1 Pit Building to Peninsula Plaza in 10 minutes knowing that her appointment was at 1pm when I finished duties at 1245pm.. The things I would do for her seriously. Since I wasn't there for her first ink, I really wanted to be there for her when she ink, to hold her hand and comfort her at least, but this time I decided to pay for her new ink. Since it was supposed to be our 1 year anniversary I decided to pay for her new tattoo as our 1 year anniversary gift. I was going to buy either a Guess watch or a Swarovski Necklace for her initially but a tattoo as a gift isn't too bad of an idea too I guess, at least she will remember it forever and I think it looks real good on her.

Macerated Pomelo Orange & Mango Pannacotta

On Friday night, after sleeping in the whole day since I had a very long Thursday night clearing up stores for NDP we met up when she got off work and grab a late dinner at Kung Fu Paradise and followed by a movie "Total Recall". The movie was quite interesting but not really as good as I thought it would be but Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale.. Seriously hotttttt. I'm quite fortunate since I realized my girlfriend looked like a mix of Angelina Jolie and Jessica Biel, in my eyes at least :) After the movie we went home and cuddle through the night and chit chat on the bed like the good ol' days ..

Foie Gras on Thick Toast

We were supposed to go "Tui Na" chinese doctor on Saturday afternoon but we ended up sleeping through the afternoon and spend some quality time together at home before we head to Clarke Quay for our anniversary dinner at Zero Zero. Zero Zero is a fine dining concept restaurant at Clarke Quay, I checked it out online and it seems to have quite good reviews and looked like a cozy and unique restaurant to dine in so I decided to bring babe over for our anniversary dinner. The place was quite unique, with their creative dishes with the "original taste" concept and a very cozy fine dining feel, the food was awesome also, and they had a promotion of 50% off the set menu for DBS Cards, so babe treat me for dinner since I pay for her ink :) After dinner, we walked around Clarke Quay area trying to find someplace to chillax and drink, our initial plan was go to Queens at Sentosa Boardwalk but we got too lazy to travel so far just for a drink, since we were already at Clarke Quay area we decided to just grab a drink there. After walking rounds around the area, we chose AquaNova, at first glance it looks like very blue cool bar/ restaurant but I found the name a bit strange, since it was AQUAnova, and there was really 2 "Aquas" sitting at the front door, but we decided to give it a shot anyways. Let's just say we should of went to Highlander instead, haha. It was somewhat of a older age group for uncle aunties but it was quite interesting, after finish our drinks there we decided to go to Rebel and try to find Happy Hour there and club too then we ran into her sister Katherine, which later joined us clubbing for the night with her 2 friends. Just nice there was event that night, Spread Love, the music was alright, the crowd was the usual Zirca/ Rebel crowd. The only thing was that I was way too sober for clubbing that night, first time I felt so sober in club, or maybe the feel wasn't there, so end up being more of the bodyguard that night taking care of babe, her sister and their 2 friends. I don't mind if I'm not having fun, at least it still beats being at home alone bored out of my mind, at least I could accompany her and take care of her :)

On Sunday we finally went to "Tui Na" after a long morning trying to get out of bed. Her ankles and knee was starting to hurt real bad and they had to shift the bone back in place in a way. I keep telling her it's because of too much clubbing that's causing her ankles pain but she don't believe me. Tsk tsk. After the trip to the doctor we went for desert at her mommy's place ate some yummy milk pudding and mango n' strawberry shave ice. Mommy was being too nice again and treat us desert -.- After the trip to Chinatown we went back to the west and went to Chevron to get my Brunei packing items then went home to catch up on our Running Man series before we went for dinner at Alif's. After our dinner we went to McDonalds to chillax a bit, sort of bring back the past of how we would always chill at that McDonalds near her house when we were still dating, and we were talking about how our future lifestyle will be in US :) It was getting late and she has to work the next day and I had to book in the next afternoon. I walk her home like the old times, and chit chat with her mom for a bit before I make my way back home.

There's definitely progress at where we stand now I will say. She finally hold my hand again, even though she said it was just for fun. Once in a while she would give me a kiss that just drives me crazy.. Then when she call me hubby in cantonese she melted my heart. Hahaa :) She really makes me feel like a little kid at times & how we talk about our future lifestyle in US would be like make me look forward for it even more. I can't wait for the day we start our lives together and be happy. I will be a good husband, a good father, a good man for her. I love her so much. I just want us to be happy, I wanna live a story tale life where happy ever after do exist. We are one year down, and a whole lifetime to go through together.

Vanilla Mille Feuille

Assorted Platter @ Zero. Zero

Grilled Escargot with Cheese

August 6th 2012 "Every Seconds Counts.. "

NDP Preview 2012

This weekend I managed to spend some quality time together with her, slept over at her house for the whole weekend. It was a good feeling, we were like a married couple. On Friday night, I came home early and waited for her to get off work so I went and bought our 4th son Mr. Zabbit as a surprise since she's been hinting me a lot for a new rabbit recently. Then we went to Pasar Malam and bought some food home for dinner. We spend the night together and cuddle through the night before I had to go for NDP duties in the morning. Spend the whole Saturday doing the NDP Preview Show, the fireworks was amazing, somehow just by watching fireworks makes me miss her more, wish that she was there with me watching the fireworks together. She went to club with her friend Cadman on Saturday night and I went over her house and wait for her to come home. Me and her mom was chatting through the night, I told her more about myself and tell her my plans for the future with her daughter and how I wish to have a family to come home to after work, have dinner with my family asks how was their day then read a storybook to my kids. Then her mom laughed at me. Haha ^^ I told her I didnt really have a real father figure growing up and that's why I really want to be there for my children in the future and be that father I never had and didnt have much of a childhood growing up, hence when Im with her daughter I can be like a little kid around her and just be happy. We talked until about 3-4 in the morning when I told her she should get some sleep since she have work the next morning. She's really became like a mother figure for me here in Singapore since my mom is still back in Colorado. It actually makes me miss my parents more and realize how much they mean to me.

Our Sons. Mr. Zabbit. Mr. Babbit. Mr. Rabbit & Mr. Wabbit

She got home around 5 in the morning, I fell asleep waiting for her. But I still wake up make sure that she was okay when she got home, surprisingly she didnt drink that much, still looked quite sober. She then told me about her night how 4-5 guys was hitting on her but she rejected them all. :) Then she told me she saw her ex, the bastard over there too and how it ruined her night. I felt like a married couple like my wife went out then come home to me and tell me about her night, haha. She probably thinks I was paranoid about her going to club with other guys but surprisingly I wasnt. I was more concerned that if she drank too much and couldnt come home and not worrying that she will do something behind my back or such, cause I know she knows better. I think the trust have definitely gotten stronger and my ways have really started to change for the better, being less paranoid about things. My friend told me something that I find quite true, he said there are 2 kinds of people in the world, the ones who always think about going out with other people or thinking about other guys while being in a relationship with you and there are the people that always goes out with others but always come home to you at the end of the day and always think of you while she's out. You cant really have the best of both world, just have to deal with it. To me it really made sense in a way.

On Sunday, we went to the doctor to put her bones back in place on her ankles then went to the temple at Bugis. Then we walked to Orchard and grab dinner there. When we got home, we watched a movie in bed like how we used to be then she washed my face with salt to remove all my whiteheads. Im so fortunate to have her in my life. Even though she makes me angry or sad sometimes but she always know how to turn my frown upside down. I really treasure every second when I am with her, every second counts. Every second im not around her I miss her. 3 more days til our 1 year anniversary, sort of. Even though we are not really officially together anymore but we have been together for 1 year already, the best 1 year of my life. Still thinking where to take her for our anniversary dinner and her anniversary gift. In about 2 weeks time I will be going to Brunei for training for 2 weeks, returning on 6th of September. Just trying to spend as much time I can spend with her before I go to Brunei for my 2 weeks of hell. I know that sure as hell that im gonna miss her so much, just trying to spend as much time with her for now, every seconds counts.

July 30th 2012 "One Step At A Time.. "

Although we are still not back together yet, but I feel like there's definitely progress. Friday night, she accompany me for dinner at Alif's then we went home. I chatted with her through the night until she fell asleep on me, it feels so comfortable whenever we are together. Every second with her counts, just want to keep her in my arms and never let her go. After NDP rehearsals on Saturday night, she told me she's going to Zouk alone -.- She just wanted to drink and get out the house. Sometimes I wish she understands how much people worry for her, going to club herself, what if something happened, but I know she just wanted to drink and get out the house. I couldnt let her go alone, so I went and accompany her. It's been a while since since we club together, it feels good because every time we dance it reminds me of the night when we first met, remembering that beautiful face of hers and how we fell in love. There was this guy at Velvet that was hitting on her but she rejected him even though she thought he was very cute and told him that I was her ex but she's gonna marry me .. :) It's funny because I know she wont do me wrong, I truly trust her with all my heart. Even she was talking and drinking with the guy but I wasnt jealous at all, I was actually enjoying our time together. Maybe since I was there and had an eye on her, if anything would of happened I would be there to save her. As the night went on she started drinking more and more and gotten more tipsy, when we were dancing at Zouk, she starts hitting me and holding me tightly then started to break down and cried. I held her tightly and comfort her, then she lost it, her legs went numb and lost control of her body and started to puke. I managed to carry her outside and took her home, and take care of her that night. I think I proved myself that what I would do for her that night, she's my baby and there is nothing I wont do for her. I just want her to be happy, I want us to be happy. The only thing is that I wish that she would stop drinking and clubbing so much, it's not good for her and she knows it, even though I know all she wants is to go out and have fun.

While she was drunk, she started to mumble a lot of things, she said she hates me, i'm a jerk and such but then she said she loves me so much. It doesnt have to be this way. She told me there is no one she wants to be with other than me, im the one that make her feel the most comfortable. She's just waiting for me to prove to her that I've changed, be more mature to be the man she wants me to be. Less paranoid but more independent. We talked about our future and what she wants for our wedding day. Even though she was mumbling the whole time I still managed to hear some of the stuff she kept down inside. It made me wanna work twice as hard for her, prove to her that im really the one for her and be her husband one day.

The next morning, I went to Johor with my bunk mates bought some titbits, had lunch, walked around the mall and chill at Starbucks. After the spending the afternoon with my bunk mates, I rushed home to meet her. We went on to watch Stand Up comedy at China One Clark Quay, it was a bit fail since they were all amateurs but everyone must start out somewhere the way I see it. After the show we went to Cineleisure and chill at McDonalds and chit chat a bit. I started to talk about my past and I started to think too much. When we went home that night, I held her tightly and didnt want to let go, ever. She makes me feel so damn comfortable, she's the only one that can comfort me, cool me down and makes me feel that everything is okay. She has the ability to put a smile on my face no matter what circumstances, I love her so much.