February 1st 2015 "I'm Sorry"

It's been way too long.
Lots of shit happened.
Now I feel lost. I'm feel broken inside.
I feel like I wont be able to love anyone again.
You destroyed me and it's hard for me to feel anything anymore.
I've become cold hearted & I've become a monster.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
All my feelings just went away, all my emotions gone.
I feel inhumane,  deeply I'm still broken inside.
I'm sorry.

January 8th 2014 "Goodbye 2013, Welcome 2014"

Hello everybody! I know it's been a really long time since I blogged. Actually updating this blog have been on my to-do list for a long time now but to be honest I just never had the time. So since I have tomorrow morning off, I'm going to try and recap some of the important events lately the best that I can. Well first and foremost, Happy New Year everybody! It's freaking 2014 already, can you believe it!? For me personally 2013 went by super fast, it was an awesome year in my eyes and definitely a year I wont forget. You know how they say time flies when you are having fun well that's what sort of happened to me but for a full year! In 2013 I've learn many new things, met a lot of awesome people and lots of significant events happened in 2013. Mainly it because it was the year that I finished my active service in army and it was the year I finally moved back to Colorado after being in Singapore for almost 4 years.

Alright so back to the catching up part, honestly I don't even know where to begin so I'm just gonna start from the day I got back to Colorado. I will try to recap the events from July 2013 to September 2013 whenever I get a chance I promise, it's all recorded in my phone anyways. So yeah! As most of you guys know I'm back in Colorado now. It's been about 4 months since I came back and basically all I have been doing is work and work and work. I'm managing our family restaurant with my dad in Denver right now and business is not too bad, it's just that a lot of our personal time is sacrificed to the restaurant. I'm working 7 days a week, I don't really mind cause I've mentally prepared myself for this before I even came back. I've told myself that in this age group I'm in right now I must work and save as much money as I could till I hit the big thirty. I just bought my own car not too long ago right before Christmas and it was a huge accomplishment in my life checklist. I bought a 2011 Toyota Camry LE for $17,000 on a 60 months plan. So now my next step is to save $20,000 by the end of the year and place a down payment in a town house to invest in around Denver area. Right now I can honestly say that I'm doing quite well at the moment comparing to my lifestyle in Singapore so I guess things aren't too bad.

So the question still comes to this Colorado or Singapore? Well it's a hard question to answer, cause I really don't have an answer. Deep down in my heart, I really miss Singapore a lot. I miss the lifestyle I had, the great group of friends and mainly being in the army but I have to face the real world though cause I cant be focusing on having fun my whole life. I need to focus on saving money at the moment so Colorado is the place I should be right now or until I'm around thirty at least. The main thing is that I'm earning twice or trice more then the wages I would be earning in Singapore right now and I can afford much greater things living here in the United States compared to living in Singapore, and not to forget I can finally spend more time with my parents and be that son I never was to them again.

New Year Resolutions for 2014? Well I didn't even come out with a list this year mainly cause I never really had time yet to even think about it yet but, I'm starting school again in January to finally get my GED so definitely one of my resolutions this year is to get my GED diploma. The second resolution would probably to have at least $10,000USD cash in my back account by the end of the year. That's all the resolutions I have right now. If I could just accomplish these two things I will be more then happy. So anyways, my 21st birthday is coming up real soon, 12 more days to go to be exact! Probably going to try and head to Las Vegas for a weekend if the guys can make it too cause I really need this little getaway from everything at the moment. Hopefully they can come through and we can just let loose for the weekend and not worry all these things. Then the next thing I'm looking forward to is in April. Clara is coming over for 3 weeks and I'm super exited for that. I really miss that girl so much and yes, me and her are talking again, it's a really long story and I don't really want to go too much into details about it right now. I'm gonna take a week off from work when she gets here, probably gonna take her to Vegas and California too. I'm working hard to plan the whole three weeks right now and just hope that our schedule wont clash with my work cause I really want to spend my time with her as much as I could when she's here. Really cant wait till she's here! Then the next thing I'm planning for is to go back to Singapore to visit somewhere towards the end of the year just to catch up with everyone and all and maybe for the first cycle of reservist.

So this is pretty much it for now, I tried my best to recap everything I could. I know this post is super messy cause I'm just throwing things out from whatever thats on by mind. I will try to continue blogging as much as I could, well its not like I have any readers anyways. This blog is just something nice to have so I can look back at my life one day and hopefully it will bring back good memories. Anyways, it's past my bedtime so good night everybody and Happy New Year! May all your wishes come through and let 2014 be an awesome year for us!

** Pictures coming up soon **

Random Thoughts November 9th, 2013

It's weird how I used to love this place so much and call this place home. But now I just feel like Singapore was the real home. It just doesnt feel the same anymore, like I dont really fit in and all. Although I try to hang out and go out as much but something doesnt feel right honestly, I just feel there is a lot of non genuine friendship going on. I dont even know whats wrong, it's just awkward. I'm just tired of changes, starting over and over again. Maybe I shouldnt even think too much just focus on myself, earn my money and one day everything will work out hopefully.

Sidetrack: Alone Time

It's been a while since I updated my blog. Well I'm gonna side track a bit, I will update with everything when I get the time I promise. A lot have been going on in my head recently, and the main thing is that I dont feel like myself lately. I dont even know who I really am anymore. Maybe is cause of all this sudden changes, how I'm adapting back to my old life too soon. I just need a lot of alone time right now to get myself back.  I really miss home, and when I say the word home now it's Singapore. I will just stay up looking at all our pictures over and over and again and think back to all the good times we had. So much have been going on in my head, there is still a lot of unsolved problems and things unsaid I feel. I dont even know what im doing right now is right or wrong, it's hurting so much. Alcohol and cigarettes are my temporary fix at the moment. I just miss you, I wish you were here.

August 18th 2013 "Recap of July 2013"

 

 

Kangling's Birthday at Butterfactory with GS, Eugenia and Eugenie

New faces I met drinking outside Zouk with Joelyn and friends

Night at Attica with Vanessa, Priscilla and Shakir

To be honest, I'm so lazy to update my blog! Dont really feel like writing recently, but I know if I dont update now its just gonna drag on further and further. Thanks god I still keep track of everything in my phone though. I have this little app, Evernote, on my phone to keep track of what I do daily. Every night I will write down what I did on that day briefly in the app since New Years Eve of 2012! I have no idea why I do it, but it just became a habit. It's good to look back also. I can read back and be like "Oh, what was the day I watched the movie?" Anyways, like I said I've been quite lazy to update stuff recently, it's already Mid-August and I'm barely updating for the month of July. Well it's not like anybody will read anyways. This is my blog, my personal space where I can speak everything that's on my mind and maybe read back one day and laugh at myself. Okay enough of the ranting, here we go for the month of July!

July 2013

After my Wisdom tooth extraction surgery

July 5th Friday            - Booked out on a Friday night! Went to grab a beer with Keith and Wilson at
July 6th Saturday        - It was Powerhouse last day before they closed down. I was gonna go down with Pek Lian but then I got rejected of entry with Wilson due to our tattoos, so we just went next door to Neverland 2 instead with Wilson and Jermaine then Joelyn and Jason managed to psycho me to Attica with them so I went to Zouk for a short while then met Shakir and Jess there. Ended up at Attica with Shakir's friend and met Vanessa and Priscilla.
Golden Mile Thai Disco.
July 7th Sunday          - Woke up at Shakir's place the next morning. Had no idea how I ended up there, maybe cause we drank to much that night. Nevertheless went to eat at Changi Village with Shakir then he sent me back. Went over to Charm's place to chill with Adeve that night, then booked in the next morning.

July 10th Wednesday  - Went to Pizza Hut with GS for nights out. Had a proper dinner before my wisdom surgery the next day, then went home since I took off for my surgery the next day.

July 11th Thursday      - Went for my left side wisdom tooth extraction. After surgery went home to sleep the whole day.
July 12th Friday          - Went to finish my tattoo's Japanese background until 3 in the morning then went to Planet with Keith, Wilson, GS and KL after for beer.
July 13th Saturday      - Went to town to chill with GS and his secondary school friends then we went to Zouk afterwards with Joel and HK then I met Joelyn and Jason there.
July 14th Sunday        - Skype mom in the afternoon then just stayed home and had movie marathon.

Added the Japanese background to my sleeve 90% completed

July 19th Friday          - Went to Zouk with huge group with the shell guys, Steph's group and GS's group! Fun night Zouk since got so big group.

July 20th Saturday      - Drink near Zouk with Joelyn and her friends. Had a chill night and met lots of
new faces,  Joelyn's friends (Jackie's group)

July 25th Thursday     - Extracted the right side of the wisdom tooth. Went home to rest the whole day after the surgery.

July 26th Friday          - Met up Quanman, Cheryl and Steph at town to have dinner and catch up. Then went to Butterfactory for Kangling's birthday.
July 27th Saturday      - Met Clara for dinner at WATAMI Jcube then we headed  Zouk at night for Eugenia birthday with her groupie and GS. Then we went to MINK after that. That night Clara ended taking my keys home accidentally so went over to granpa's place to sleep in the morning.

Night at Zouk for Eugenia's birthday with Clara <3

July 28th Sunday        - Skyped mom in the afternoon. Then went to Clara at JEM to pick up my keys then went home to change then met Clara and Karen at Jcube then we went to town to meet GS and KL to chill then catch the movie Wolverine with GS and his poly friends at town and went home to sleep since need to book in the next morning.

Just like that another month have passed. Left 2 more months til I'll be returning to the states. Time is running out in Singapore so I'm trying to make the best of it and use my time wisely before I go back spending time with everyone, with the people that matters to me in my life!

First picture with my full sleeve, chilling at the Hilton hotel at town

Clara & Me at Jcube <3

Me and Quanman catching up at dinner

Shakir and Me and Attica

Camwhoring in bunk when we couldnt sleep at night. Love these guys!