Haven't really been blogging lately mainly because of not thinking too much lately. Updating my blog was more of just catching up on whats going on but never really said whats been on my mind lately. Well there's always hundred and one things in my mind but right now mainly is just running out of time. In less then three months I will be done with army, therefore in less then three months I will be going back in Denver. The air ticket is finally been bought, so I'll be flying back on September 17th from Kuala Lumpur so probably the 13th or 14th of September I will start heading down to KL from Singapore. If you ask me, Am I exited to go back? Quite frankly I really dont know how to answer. In a way I cant wait to go back and continue with my life from where I left off but in a way, I'm just sick of moving around starting over again and again. In my 20 years of life I've moved to so many countries, states and cities. I really just want to settle down somewhere, find a wife material girlfriend and just settle down already, I'm tired.
Anyways lets see, hmm lets see. Some stuff thats been bothering me lately.. I think main thing right now is money. Money is never enough for anyone especially with our ridiculous army pay. One day it's pay day the next day almost 90% of it is gone just to pay up my bills and debts, then the most ridiculous part is trying to survive with that 10%-20% of our pay. It's just part of growing up phase really but I really hate not having the financial freedom where I used to have. I hate to stress over money. I cant wait to start working again and gain my reasonable income to sustain my lifestyle where I dont need to stress about how I spend my money and watching my budget. Now is the only time where I have time to really enjoy myself, hang out with the people who matters and just have fun before I go back to Denver. Once I go back I probably will be working seven days workweeks for my own restaurant. Gonna just try to earn and save as much money as I could for two to five years and see how it goes from there.
The other thing that's been bothering me lately are "Friendships". I've been in Singapore for more than three years now. Truthfully I dont really have much friends in Singapore. Only really a few handful that I really felt that they gotten a chance to get to know me, the real me. In a way, I always believed in that quality over quantity but sometimes I just wished that I could of made more close friends while I was still in Singapore. If it wasnt for Army, I probably would of left Singapore with not much friends really, since the few that really got a chance to know me are my army buddies. Actually in this three years I actually learn quite a lot about friendship and whatsoever. Looking back at the past and thinking who are the real friends growing up, and why realizing why do we such things called Friends. It sucks that I will be going back to Denver soon and have to start all over again. Hopefully I wont lose contact with my friends in Singapore and still remain this friendships we have as we grow old, maybe they come visit me in Denver someday.
The last but not least, my love life. I'm not sure whats gotten to me lately but I think I just lost hope in love or whatsoever. Im tired of giving my everything to every girl im with then they just walk away like I was nothing to them. It's funny how I actually have quite a lot of females friends recently but it's all just strictly friends kind of thing. It's weird cause I never really had female friends growing up, it's either they are my girlfriends or I wouldn't talk to any other girls then my girlfriend sort of thing. Now I actually made a lot of female friends, some really good ones too. The ones that really care and listen to my problems. The ones that can just accompany me just to hang out and chit chat. Maybe I dont even need a girlfriend after all. But honestly, I miss having a girl I can hold on to, hug her, cuddle with her, hold hands together, take care of her, kiss her forehead and all those lovey dovey little things. I really miss it. It just sucks that since I'm going back to Denver in three months, there is no chance of me being in a relationship, have that girlfriend/ boyfriends feel with me before I leave cause I sure feel so alone now, but then I know its not fair and healthy cause there is an expiration date. So oh wells no hope for my love life for the remaining three months here...
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