Random Thoughts November 9th, 2013

It's weird how I used to love this place so much and call this place home. But now I just feel like Singapore was the real home. It just doesnt feel the same anymore, like I dont really fit in and all. Although I try to hang out and go out as much but something doesnt feel right honestly, I just feel there is a lot of non genuine friendship going on. I dont even know whats wrong, it's just awkward. I'm just tired of changes, starting over and over again. Maybe I shouldnt even think too much just focus on myself, earn my money and one day everything will work out hopefully.

Sidetrack: Alone Time

It's been a while since I updated my blog. Well I'm gonna side track a bit, I will update with everything when I get the time I promise. A lot have been going on in my head recently, and the main thing is that I dont feel like myself lately. I dont even know who I really am anymore. Maybe is cause of all this sudden changes, how I'm adapting back to my old life too soon. I just need a lot of alone time right now to get myself back.  I really miss home, and when I say the word home now it's Singapore. I will just stay up looking at all our pictures over and over and again and think back to all the good times we had. So much have been going on in my head, there is still a lot of unsolved problems and things unsaid I feel. I dont even know what im doing right now is right or wrong, it's hurting so much. Alcohol and cigarettes are my temporary fix at the moment. I just miss you, I wish you were here.

August 18th 2013 "Recap of July 2013"

 

 

Kangling's Birthday at Butterfactory with GS, Eugenia and Eugenie

New faces I met drinking outside Zouk with Joelyn and friends

Night at Attica with Vanessa, Priscilla and Shakir

To be honest, I'm so lazy to update my blog! Dont really feel like writing recently, but I know if I dont update now its just gonna drag on further and further. Thanks god I still keep track of everything in my phone though. I have this little app, Evernote, on my phone to keep track of what I do daily. Every night I will write down what I did on that day briefly in the app since New Years Eve of 2012! I have no idea why I do it, but it just became a habit. It's good to look back also. I can read back and be like "Oh, what was the day I watched the movie?" Anyways, like I said I've been quite lazy to update stuff recently, it's already Mid-August and I'm barely updating for the month of July. Well it's not like anybody will read anyways. This is my blog, my personal space where I can speak everything that's on my mind and maybe read back one day and laugh at myself. Okay enough of the ranting, here we go for the month of July!

July 2013

After my Wisdom tooth extraction surgery

July 5th Friday            - Booked out on a Friday night! Went to grab a beer with Keith and Wilson at
July 6th Saturday        - It was Powerhouse last day before they closed down. I was gonna go down with Pek Lian but then I got rejected of entry with Wilson due to our tattoos, so we just went next door to Neverland 2 instead with Wilson and Jermaine then Joelyn and Jason managed to psycho me to Attica with them so I went to Zouk for a short while then met Shakir and Jess there. Ended up at Attica with Shakir's friend and met Vanessa and Priscilla.
Golden Mile Thai Disco.
July 7th Sunday          - Woke up at Shakir's place the next morning. Had no idea how I ended up there, maybe cause we drank to much that night. Nevertheless went to eat at Changi Village with Shakir then he sent me back. Went over to Charm's place to chill with Adeve that night, then booked in the next morning.

July 10th Wednesday  - Went to Pizza Hut with GS for nights out. Had a proper dinner before my wisdom surgery the next day, then went home since I took off for my surgery the next day.

July 11th Thursday      - Went for my left side wisdom tooth extraction. After surgery went home to sleep the whole day.
July 12th Friday          - Went to finish my tattoo's Japanese background until 3 in the morning then went to Planet with Keith, Wilson, GS and KL after for beer.
July 13th Saturday      - Went to town to chill with GS and his secondary school friends then we went to Zouk afterwards with Joel and HK then I met Joelyn and Jason there.
July 14th Sunday        - Skype mom in the afternoon then just stayed home and had movie marathon.

Added the Japanese background to my sleeve 90% completed

July 19th Friday          - Went to Zouk with huge group with the shell guys, Steph's group and GS's group! Fun night Zouk since got so big group.

July 20th Saturday      - Drink near Zouk with Joelyn and her friends. Had a chill night and met lots of
new faces,  Joelyn's friends (Jackie's group)

July 25th Thursday     - Extracted the right side of the wisdom tooth. Went home to rest the whole day after the surgery.

July 26th Friday          - Met up Quanman, Cheryl and Steph at town to have dinner and catch up. Then went to Butterfactory for Kangling's birthday.
July 27th Saturday      - Met Clara for dinner at WATAMI Jcube then we headed  Zouk at night for Eugenia birthday with her groupie and GS. Then we went to MINK after that. That night Clara ended taking my keys home accidentally so went over to granpa's place to sleep in the morning.

Night at Zouk for Eugenia's birthday with Clara <3

July 28th Sunday        - Skyped mom in the afternoon. Then went to Clara at JEM to pick up my keys then went home to change then met Clara and Karen at Jcube then we went to town to meet GS and KL to chill then catch the movie Wolverine with GS and his poly friends at town and went home to sleep since need to book in the next morning.

Just like that another month have passed. Left 2 more months til I'll be returning to the states. Time is running out in Singapore so I'm trying to make the best of it and use my time wisely before I go back spending time with everyone, with the people that matters to me in my life!

First picture with my full sleeve, chilling at the Hilton hotel at town

Clara & Me at Jcube <3

Me and Quanman catching up at dinner

Shakir and Me and Attica

Camwhoring in bunk when we couldnt sleep at night. Love these guys!

Taiwan 2013 "A Month I Will Never Forget"

July 30th 2013 "Recap of June 2013"

Playhouse with the Groupie

Night at Neverland II & Playhouse

It's been a while since I catch up on blogging, been real busy recently. Well actually just lazy to be honest. I guess its a good thing that I havent been blogging though. Means im not being emo lately! Too busy to be emo HAHA. Well lets see where I left off. Hmm, it was the night of May 28th 2013 on a Tuesday night. Well much have happened since then of course. It's been about 2 months since then. Quite lazy to recap everything so I'm just gonna recap it in a timeline way of the events in end of May and the whole month of June!

Quanman's Birthday

Cooking breakfast for everyone!

May 2013
May 29th Wednesday- Went to Dream then Playhouse with WJ, GS, Ben, Steph, Jess, Pek Lian and Serena.
May 30th Thursday   - Watched the Hangover 3 with Wilson, Edmund, Charmaine and GS. Then went over to Wilson's place and did my first tattoo on him!
May 31st Friday        - Met Charms, KL and GS in town then went over to Charms and crash.

June 2013

Groupie for the night at Dream/Playhouse

June 1st Saturday      - Met GS for dessert at Chinatown. Went to visit Alice (Apple's mom) at her workplace then head to Zouk with Steph, GS, Weijun & Jessica.
June 2nd Sunday       - Stayed up the whole morning taking care of Steph at her void deck since she drank too much, then went to Skype mom. Then Steamboat at Cheryl's house before booking in.
June 5th Friday         - Went to Neverland II then left since it was too packed then we headed to Playhouse with KL, Joel, GS, Clara and Joelyn.
June 6th Saturday     - Beer night at Rebel with Kinleung, Kangling, GS and met Steph and Cheryl there.
June 7th Sunday       - Skype mom. Went to visit the family then book in at night.
June 13th Thursday   - Booked out on a Thursday! Joelyn came over to chit chat with me and catch up.
June 14th Friday        - Met Steph at Jurong Point for desert then went to Grandpa's house to spend a night due to air con servicing.
June 15th Saturday    - Quanman's birthday at Timbre with Sin, Szeto, Sharalyn, Cheryl and Steph. Went to the airport for cake after that then Wei Jun, Yuan Kiang, Shawn, Jess and Steph came over for drinks and chill. Ended up cooking breakfast for everyone.
June 16th Sunday      - Went to JEM for family lunch in the afternoon at Ramen Play. Got a haircut and finished myORD package and book in.
June 20th Thursday   - BOOK OUT!
June 21st Friday        - Stay homed all day drawing my Candy Skull.
June 22nd Saturday   - Steph, Cheryl, YK and Nukun came over to drink and hangout.
June 23rd Sunday      - Went over to Charms with GS. Talk cock and had supper together.
June 24th Monday     - Went to Selarang Camp for my dental FFI then lunch with Clara at Lenas before booking in.
June 28th Friday        - Guard Duty with Guansan!
June 29th Saturday    - Accompany Charms to get her tattoo at Wilson's then went to Samurai Pub at Boat Quay with Wilson, QM, Cheryl, Steph, GS and KL. Then we hopped to Playhouse followed by Planet Paradise with Keith.
June 30th Sunday      - Skype mommy then went to meet GS at Tampines. Watched White House Down then booked in together.

Candy Skull drawn by me

First tattoo I've ever done on Wilson

Beer Night at Rebel

Playhouse with ZY, Wilson, KL & GS

June 21st 2013 "What's Been On My Mind Lately"

Haven't really been blogging lately mainly because of not thinking too much lately. Updating my blog was more of just catching up on whats going on but never really said whats been on my mind lately. Well there's always hundred and one things in my mind but right now mainly is just running out of time. In less then three months I will be done with army, therefore in less then three months I will be going back in Denver. The air ticket is finally been bought, so I'll be flying back on September 17th from Kuala Lumpur so probably the 13th or 14th of September I will start heading down to KL from Singapore. If you ask me, Am I exited to go back? Quite frankly I really dont know how to answer. In a way I cant wait to go back and continue with my life from where I left off but in a way, I'm just sick of moving around starting over again and again. In my 20 years of life I've moved to so many countries, states and cities. I really just want to settle down somewhere, find a wife material girlfriend and just settle down already, I'm tired.

Anyways lets see, hmm lets see. Some stuff thats been bothering me lately.. I think main thing right now is money. Money is never enough for anyone especially with our ridiculous army pay. One day it's pay day the next day almost 90% of it is gone just to pay up my bills and debts, then the most ridiculous part is trying to survive with that 10%-20% of our pay. It's just part of growing up phase really but I really hate not having the financial freedom where I used to have. I hate to stress over money. I cant wait to start working again and gain my reasonable income to sustain my lifestyle where I dont need to stress about how I spend my money and watching my budget. Now is the only time where I have time to really enjoy myself, hang out with the people who matters and just have fun before I go back to Denver. Once I go back I probably will be working seven days workweeks for my own restaurant. Gonna just try to earn and save as much money as I could for two to five years and see how it goes from there.

The other thing that's been bothering me lately are "Friendships". I've been in Singapore for more than three years now. Truthfully I dont really have much friends in Singapore. Only really a few handful that I really felt that they gotten a chance to get to know me, the real me. In a way, I always believed in that quality over quantity but sometimes I just wished that I could of made more close friends while I was still in Singapore. If it wasnt for Army, I probably would of left Singapore with not much friends really, since the few that really got a chance to know me are my army buddies. Actually in this three years I actually learn quite a lot about friendship and whatsoever. Looking back at the past and thinking who are the real friends growing up, and why realizing why do we such things called Friends. It sucks that I will be going back to Denver soon and have to start all over again. Hopefully I wont lose contact with my friends in Singapore and still remain this friendships we have as we grow old, maybe they come visit me in Denver someday.

The last but not least, my love life. I'm not sure whats gotten to me lately but I think I just lost hope in love or whatsoever. Im tired of giving my everything to every girl im with then they just walk away like I was nothing to them. It's funny how I actually have quite a lot of females friends recently but it's all just strictly friends kind of thing. It's weird cause I never really had female friends growing up, it's either they are my girlfriends or I wouldn't talk to any other girls then my girlfriend sort of thing. Now I actually made a lot of female friends, some really good ones too. The ones that really care and listen to my problems. The ones that can just accompany me just to hang out and chit chat. Maybe I dont even need a girlfriend after all. But honestly, I miss having a girl I can hold on to, hug her, cuddle with her, hold hands together, take care of her, kiss her forehead and all those lovey dovey little things. I really miss it. It just sucks that since I'm going back to Denver in three months, there is no chance of me being in a relationship, have that girlfriend/ boyfriends feel with me before I leave cause I sure feel so alone now, but then I know its not fair and healthy cause there is an expiration date. So oh wells no hope for my love life for the remaining three months here...

May 29th 2013 "Catching Up in Blogging"

 

Just reached back in Singapore after one month in Taiwan

New tattoos, The owl & japanese background

My new owl. Stands for Wisdom and Recon Logo

Just a selfie at the tattoo shop before the owl session

Okay on the May! After spending a whole month in Taiwan we finally came back to Singapore on the 17^th night, then followed with a 2 weeks block leave! On the 18^th met GS and his friends in town then subsequently met Cheryl, Stephanie and Michelle too in Mandarin Hotel Bar on 5. After a few beers we headed to Zouk for the night with Steph, Joelyn, Joel, GS and the guys. On the 19^th, after I woke up the next afternoon I went over to the grandparent’s house to visit and Skype my mom then went over to Wilson’s tattoo shop and start my tattoos session. We worked on the owl that night; a very long 7-hour session then grabbed supper after the tattoo.  The next day on the 20^th, I went back for the compass and roses to complete the full sleeve but my arm was still very swollen so we just did a small session on covering some empty spots with some Japanese background. The next day on the 21^st, I went back again. This time for my chest piece, to finish up some Japanese background behind my dragon tattoo.  On Wednesday 22nd, I met Stephanie in Jurong Point and we watched The Fast & Furious 6 then supper at McDonalds. I stayed home the next day to recover my tattoo since I was supposed to go over to Wilson’s and do tattoo on him but he wasn’t feeling well that day and went to the hospital. Then on 24^th, I went back to Wilson’s shop to do my compass and roses piece. We tried our best to finish it before he had to go to the airport since he was flying to Bangkok. We ran out of time after three in the morning and left with one rose to color in. The next day on the 25^th, I invited Joelyn, Kangling and GS over for dinner since I offered to make them dinner. After dinner we chilled at my house then we went to Club Dream after, after Dream we went to Planet Paradise and I reached back and knocked out. I slept in until 6pm the next day the 26^th then made my way to Kangling’s house and hang out since GS was going over to then went over to GS’s house to crash after. The next day when we woke up on the 27^th, we met Steph and Cheryl in town then met Quanman in Sengkang after he got off work. After that I told Charmaine to come meet us too, so went everyone went home me GS, and Steph went over to Charmaine’s house and chit chat there the whole night until six in the morning. And here I am now at home on a Tuesday night the 28th, been home all day relaxing, just spending some alone time, catching up on my blog and recovering my tattoo too.

Anyways this is pretty much of what’s been happening in my life the past few months. Of course there are some missing pieces to the puzzle like Taiwan trip and all, we will get to that soon I promise. Meanwhile, just some updates on some heart to heart stuff. C and me are no longer dating. We decided to be just better off as friends since I’m going back to Colorado soon anyways there is no point of continuing the relationship anyways. So on the night before I came back to Singapore from Taiwan, C sent me a message saying that we should just be friends and just want to end this dating thing.  It was sort of a Déjà vu of the past but oh wells. No harm no foul is done, we had our fun while it lasted and I never regretted anything. I actually just hung out with her last night and we chatted like usual. She’s still a close friend of mine and I will treasure or friendship together for the remaining three months before I head back to Colorado then subsequently catch up with each other whenever we have to chance to I hope. Like I told her it’s a bit easier for us to be just friends and not awkward so fast is partially because we knew it will come to this anyways sooner or later when I head back to US, so now it’s just a head start of us being just friends, instead of after I head back to Colorado.

Another thing I want to bring up is my friendship with Sin & Szeto. The thing is that I’m not really sure what really happened or who did anything wrong but we are just not that close anymore. It just felt like they are trying to outcast me. To me, they were like my best friends since they were the first group of friends I met since I got to Singapore. To them I’m probably just another person. Anyways Szeto is also dating Sharalyn now, a girl I used to date. To me, I’m totally fine with it since it was the past, but it’s like he choose a girl over our brotherhood. Oh well, I’m heading back to Colorado in three months anyways and going to start my new life, maybe I shouldn’t even think so much. Thankfully now, I still have my good friends Guansan, my buddy in army to hang out and joke with meanwhile.

Me, Steph and Cheryl at Bar On 5

Me & Michelle at Bar On 5

With the Stencils of Compass & Roses

Me Joelyn and Guansan at DREAM

Recap of April 2013

Scout Platoon in Vivo City

Cohesion in Adventure Cove

In Genting Highlands

Next up the month of April! The month of April is an interesting one cause I flew to Taiwan on the 19^th, but before I flew we had our fun in JB, Battalion Cohesion and Genting, then followed by Taiwan!

The ladies sending us off in the airport

On the 4^th of April, after I booked out I went over to C’s house and hang out then the next day of the 5^th we went to Johor to have supper with Adeve Guoren and Adel. The next day of the 6^th, I went over to C’s house for dinner, and then chilled with Frank and Dong Han at night. On the 7^th, I had left hand driving course with GS in the afternoon for Taiwan, then after the course we went to Ice Edge for dinner with C’s friends. The next weekend on Friday the 12^th. We had our battalion cohesion in Adventure Cover. After the cohesion I went home and rest then went to play poker at night. The next morning on the 13^th, I went to pick up the rest of my stuff from Alyson’s house, and then waited for C to come meet me since she went to her friend birthday party. We watched Olympus Has Fallen at Jcube then ate supper at Kungfu Paradise. Booked in on the 14^th, then booked out the next day since me, GS, C and Natasha was going to Genting from 16th-18^th. On the 16^th early morning then took the coach down to Genting. The first day, we just walked around, eat and went bowling. The second day we hit the outdoor theme park, then chill together at night then make our way back to Singapore the next day. On the 19^th, that was the day when we have to fly to Taiwan. Me, C, GS and Natasha went to grab dinner at Quality Hotel for some vegetarian buffet before we made our way to the airport and said our goodbyes, but what we didn’t know was it was really “The Goodbye.” 

The 3 "Prisoners" Going to Taiwan

C sending me off to the airport

Me & Guansan the night we booked out