July 30th 2012 "One Step At A Time.. "

Although we are still not back together yet, but I feel like there's definitely progress. Friday night, she accompany me for dinner at Alif's then we went home. I chatted with her through the night until she fell asleep on me, it feels so comfortable whenever we are together. Every second with her counts, just want to keep her in my arms and never let her go. After NDP rehearsals on Saturday night, she told me she's going to Zouk alone -.- She just wanted to drink and get out the house. Sometimes I wish she understands how much people worry for her, going to club herself, what if something happened, but I know she just wanted to drink and get out the house. I couldnt let her go alone, so I went and accompany her. It's been a while since since we club together, it feels good because every time we dance it reminds me of the night when we first met, remembering that beautiful face of hers and how we fell in love. There was this guy at Velvet that was hitting on her but she rejected him even though she thought he was very cute and told him that I was her ex but she's gonna marry me .. :) It's funny because I know she wont do me wrong, I truly trust her with all my heart. Even she was talking and drinking with the guy but I wasnt jealous at all, I was actually enjoying our time together. Maybe since I was there and had an eye on her, if anything would of happened I would be there to save her. As the night went on she started drinking more and more and gotten more tipsy, when we were dancing at Zouk, she starts hitting me and holding me tightly then started to break down and cried. I held her tightly and comfort her, then she lost it, her legs went numb and lost control of her body and started to puke. I managed to carry her outside and took her home, and take care of her that night. I think I proved myself that what I would do for her that night, she's my baby and there is nothing I wont do for her. I just want her to be happy, I want us to be happy. The only thing is that I wish that she would stop drinking and clubbing so much, it's not good for her and she knows it, even though I know all she wants is to go out and have fun.

While she was drunk, she started to mumble a lot of things, she said she hates me, i'm a jerk and such but then she said she loves me so much. It doesnt have to be this way. She told me there is no one she wants to be with other than me, im the one that make her feel the most comfortable. She's just waiting for me to prove to her that I've changed, be more mature to be the man she wants me to be. Less paranoid but more independent. We talked about our future and what she wants for our wedding day. Even though she was mumbling the whole time I still managed to hear some of the stuff she kept down inside. It made me wanna work twice as hard for her, prove to her that im really the one for her and be her husband one day.

The next morning, I went to Johor with my bunk mates bought some titbits, had lunch, walked around the mall and chill at Starbucks. After the spending the afternoon with my bunk mates, I rushed home to meet her. We went on to watch Stand Up comedy at China One Clark Quay, it was a bit fail since they were all amateurs but everyone must start out somewhere the way I see it. After the show we went to Cineleisure and chill at McDonalds and chit chat a bit. I started to talk about my past and I started to think too much. When we went home that night, I held her tightly and didnt want to let go, ever. She makes me feel so damn comfortable, she's the only one that can comfort me, cool me down and makes me feel that everything is okay. She has the ability to put a smile on my face no matter what circumstances, I love her so much.