September 2nd 2012 "Writing Out Loud Pt II"

I think its a bad thing that we're done with training and now we don't have much to do. End up making myself think about way too many things. Mainly about her. I don't know what's been going on, what's on her mind. It's not like I'm giving up on her but I don't know what is this. I really want her to talk to me and tell me everything literally, but she won't. I post on twitter saying, I wish I could read your mind sometimes.. And she replied if I knew we won't be like this right now. I wish she just let me know what's on her mind and let everything out. Cause right now it seems like she don't have feelings for me what so ever and its like I'm there just because I want to be. It seems like I'm forcing her to like me and be with me, like it seems she just don't give a flying fuck anymore. If that's the case I rather her tell me straight in my face, I don't wanna be like forcing her to like me putting a fake image. I wish she would talk to me and stop this guessing game. I'm not a fucking physic, I don't know what's on her mind. All I know is that I just want a happy relationship, be happy and both of us love each other genuinely and have a healthy relationship. Is that too much to ask for. It also seem like I'm being too much of the female in this relationship maybe I should stop caring too much and man up about things, cause the man shouldn't be the emotional one, always think about things. Maybe I should be more cold hearted like her, maybe I should really just give her time and see what happens and see if I really do mean something to her. I really don't know what's going on, what to think anymore. I hope whatever this is, an answer comes soon and if this is real it better be real. I'm sick of playing games, I need a women to be there for me. I just want to find happiness. She have her best friend back now, but I still don't cause she's my best friend but now its like my girl friend is gone so is my best friend. I hate this feeling.