July 13th 2012 "The End .. "

When I thought that things were fixed, I was wrong. She talked to her mom and asked what she think of us being together? Her mom thinks that we're still young and seems like 2 little kids falling in love, she thinks that i will leave her after Army and meanwhile Im just using her. Her mom actually have a very good relationship with me, she's like my mother in Singapore but the thing is that she doesnt know me well enough, I really wished she knew who I really am. After she chatted with her mom, I guess it got to her and made her think twice about us and our future. She then told me that we needed to talk cause there was a part 2 that we havent resolved yet . We talked on the phone that night she told me what her mom said about us and she wants a break, she thinks I dont trust her due to my paranoidness, we didnt really talk much that night hence she was tired and insisted to talk face to face about this instead. l sensed something was wrong and i knew the end of us was coming. Trying so hard not to cry that night, telling myself it's nothing just an argument perhaps. I tossed and turned all night waiting to know the truth from her, the conclusion. The next day was Friday, Friday the 13th. I booked out early and I waited for her to finish work. The anticipation drove me crazy. I was waiting for her at Jurong East MRT, i made her Quesadillas for dinner. We then went to Picnique for desert and fries. Things felt different, it felt like all the feeling was gone, we were like two complete strangers. After we ate, we went over my house. she sat on my bed and i lay down next to her asking what's the conclusion. She told me her feelings for me are gone, the feelings are just not there anymore. I asked her what does she want, she initiated a break since she doesnt know either she wants to be with me or without me. I needed to know an answer, I couldnt live on not knowing the truth, not knowing the answer. I wanted her to make a decision either she wants to do this with me or without me, i just needed to know. She looked at me in my eyes, and said let's end it, then she told me she wanted to go home. Before she leaves, I asked if at least she could let me send her home, and that I wanted to say a final goodbye to mom. She insisted, but i still followed her home just to make sure she got home safely. I followed her the whole journey home. When we were on the lift on the way up her house, I told her that I love her and that I was sorry. When the lift door opened, I asked for a final goodbye kiss. She held me tight and kissed me then pushed me away and went home. That was it, it was all over. I never felt more lost, everything was so sudden. To be honest, Im still not sure what have happened and why we broke up. On the way home, I sent her a message saying no matter what happens I will still be there for her, I fell in love with her and nothing will ever change, and that I hope she will do the same for me. I told her I wanted to know if we can ever be together again, cause I sure hope so. The next morning she replied that she will be there for me always, but for our future maybe we just take one step at a time.  At least after reading that, I felt much better. At least there was still hope. I love her so much.

August 9th, 2011 - July 13th, 2012 ..  "Happiest 11 months of my life.."
It's not over.